I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You need Xanax blowdarts
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
