You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
