I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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