get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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