she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
