We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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