I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
