I want to make a zoo with you.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
