yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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