he thought i was a dude.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize