it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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