i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
