I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
