I will die if light touches me.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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