i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
