glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
