The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
