Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
babies were throwing up all over the place
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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