I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
