If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
