First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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