why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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