Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
