I wish I could teleport
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize