Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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