You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
