just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
