So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize