i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The beer is more important than you right now.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
