you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
