He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
worst night to have a conscience
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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