remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
