Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Houston, we have a blender
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
