I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
