dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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