just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
