its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
