Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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