We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
