Jerry, you need to find god
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
