She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
wakey wakey hands off snakey
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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