I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
They have beer where we have blood.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
