I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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