The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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