Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
