i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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