My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize