The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
