i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
