Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The feeling are messing with the penis
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
