you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
