And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
40s are totally the cure
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize