Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize