You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
