he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
