Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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