I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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