its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
