Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
operation harelip BJ is a go
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
