Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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