Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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