Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
