Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
