First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
