There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
