It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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