Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
