hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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